the nothing I strive to be

I’ll die before I quit

If I’d quit I’d never die

May I disappear tomorrow

for another beer tonight

May I struggle with addiction

for another life to come

Oh, I wish I’d live again

over there, right by the sun

They made me be like me

but they won’t let me be like me

I was never born to do this

like a failure that succeeds

And the nothing that I strive to be

has ceased at being nothing

in the moment when I think

of what it feels like, being me